I can’t think of anything better than sharing a laugh at your Thanksgiving table with quotes that will have everyone in stitches! 🦃
That’s why I’m so excited to bring you a collection of hilarious Thanksgiving quotes that will spice up your holiday celebrations and keep the laughs rolling.
I know this post probably caught your eye because you’re looking for the perfect way to add some humor to your Thanksgiving dinner. 🍂 You’ve probably wondered, “How can I make this year’s Thanksgiving extra fun and lighthearted?” I totally get it! Finding the right mix of wit and holiday cheer can be tricky, but these quotes will give you exactly what you need.
A few years ago, I was in the same boat—looking for ways to inject some humor into my holiday gatherings. That’s when I discovered how much laughter can transform the atmosphere, from dinner table conversations to fun social media posts.
Since then, I’ve come across so many funny Thanksgiving quotes that will have everyone in fits of laughter—whether you’re making a toast, sharing them in your speeches, or even using them for place cards.
If you’re ready to add some laughter to your Thanksgiving this year, these 75 funny Thanksgiving quotes are the perfect way to do it. From clever one-liners to witty observations, there’s a quote for every guest and moment.
Let’s dive into these hilarious Thanksgiving quotes and get ready to laugh until your sides hurt!
75 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes That Will Have You in Stitches!
- “Thanksgiving: The one day you can sit at a table full of food, do nothing, and still feel productive.”
- “I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.”
- “Thanksgiving is a time to count your blessings… and calories.”
- “You know you’re getting old when the turkey is way too dry, but you still feel obligated to eat it.”
- “I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it. Especially on Thanksgiving.”
- “I can’t cook. But I can microwave anything for Thanksgiving. #ModernProblems”
- “Thanksgiving: The only day when you eat and drink so much that you need a nap to digest it all.”
- “I’m thankful for elastic waistbands today.”
- “Turkey and stuffing—what could possibly go wrong? Oh yeah, everything.”
- “If you’re looking for the perfect Thanksgiving dish, it’s called delivery.”
- “Thanksgiving dinner is a time when you go ‘I’m full,’ but still grab another plate of mashed potatoes.”
- “I’ve never met a mashed potato I didn’t like.”
- “Thanksgiving: The holiday that’s a gravy train straight to your heart (and your stomach).”
- “There’s always a person at Thanksgiving who insists on talking politics. Just bring them more pie to shut them up.”
- “Pumpkin pie is the only reason I’m thankful for Thanksgiving.”
- “The turkey is the real star of Thanksgiving. It’s just a shame it never gets to speak for itself.”
- “If you don’t eat until you feel uncomfortable, did you even Thanksgiving properly?”
- “Thanksgiving: A day to count your blessings and eat a mountain of food, which are both kind of the same thing.”
- “Who says you can’t have breakfast for Thanksgiving? Bacon-wrapped turkey is practically a tradition.”
- “My favorite Thanksgiving tradition? Taking a nap after dinner. #NapTimeGoals”
- “There’s no such thing as too much mashed potatoes. Or too much wine. Or too much pie.”
- “Thanksgiving is all about that one table where everyone pretends they like each other for 3 hours.”
- “The best part of Thanksgiving? No one judges you for eating 3 pieces of pie.”
- “Turkey, mashed potatoes, gravy, and then more pie. I think I just had the perfect day.”
- “I’m grateful for friends, family, and the person who invented stretchy pants.”
- “If the turkey’s dry, just pour more gravy on it. Works every time.”
- “Thanksgiving is the day you eat more than your body can handle—and then sleep it off.”
- “Thanksgiving: When you eat so much food, you can’t fit into your jeans for three days afterward.”
- “I think the turkey was supposed to be the main event, but the mashed potatoes definitely stole the show.”
- “Food coma: The best part of Thanksgiving, right after the food, of course.”
- “Why did the turkey join a band? Because it had drumsticks!”
- “The only thing bigger than the turkey is the to-do list that still has to be done afterward.”
- “Thanksgiving: The day when your favorite vegetable is mashed potatoes, and no one judges you.”
- “If you’re not eating pie and taking a nap by 3 PM on Thanksgiving, are you really even living?”
- “There’s no such thing as too much stuffing, just too much talking about it.”
- “I plan to eat my body weight in mashed potatoes this Thanksgiving. That’s my personal goal.”
- “They say calories don’t count on Thanksgiving, and I’m choosing to believe that.”
- “The turkey’s the only one getting roasted this Thanksgiving… by our family conversations.”
- “Thanksgiving: Where even the desserts are stuffing themselves.”
- “I don’t even need a turkey for Thanksgiving—just bring the sides, and I’m good.”
- “The best way to keep Thanksgiving from being a stuffed disaster? Don’t stuff your face too soon.”
- “I love Thanksgiving. It’s the one day when eating until you’re physically uncomfortable is actually encouraged.”
- “Thanksgiving: A chance to give thanks for food, family, and the fact that nobody expects you to cook on Christmas.”
- “The only thing more filling than the turkey is the love you share with your family… or maybe just the mashed potatoes.”
- “I’m here for the turkey, but also secretly for the wine.”
- “I’ve never had too much stuffing. But I’ve definitely had too much of my aunt’s opinions.”
- “Thanksgiving: When your stomach says, ‘stop,’ and your heart says, ‘one more slice of pie!’”
- “Nothing says ‘family gathering’ like the tension over the gravy boat.”
- “My Thanksgiving plan? Eat. Nap. Repeat.”
- “Stuffing: The one dish where the more stuffed you feel, the better it is.”
- “When you’re asked for your Thanksgiving wish and you say ‘to not have to cook next year.’”
- “I love Thanksgiving because it’s a day of giving… giving me food coma.”
- “My Thanksgiving diet plan: Eat first, nap second, be thankful third.”
- “You know you’ve overdone it when your jeans start to unbutton themselves.”
- “The most thankful I’ve ever felt is when someone passed me a piece of pie before I asked for it.”
- “Turkey + gravy = one satisfied stomach. Add pie, and you’re living your best life.”
- “The only Thanksgiving debate I’m having is which pie to eat first.”
- “You can’t have too much Thanksgiving dessert, but you can definitely have too much family.”
- “I love Thanksgiving because it gives me a chance to show off my skills at napping.”
- “We should be thankful for the calories… that’s all I’ve got to say about that.”
- “Thanksgiving: The one day of the year when ‘seconds’ is encouraged, and thirds is celebrated.”
- “The turkey may be the main event, but pie’s definitely the MVP of Thanksgiving.”
- “If you need me, I’ll be in the kitchen—mostly napping near the mashed potatoes.”
- “There’s always that one relative who brings too much to Thanksgiving. But we still eat it all.”
- “This Thanksgiving, I’m focusing on gratitude. And pie. Mostly pie.”
- “You know what’s more fun than cooking Thanksgiving dinner? Eating Thanksgiving dinner.”
- “Thanksgiving: A day to remember everything you’re grateful for—and everything you ate last year.”
- “My Thanksgiving motto: Stuff the turkey, and stuff myself.”
- “Thanksgiving is proof that food really is the way to everyone’s heart.”
- “If you’re not wearing sweatpants for Thanksgiving, are you really living your best life?”
- “Dear Thanksgiving, I’m thankful for you. But also… bring me that pie.”
- “Turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, and a nap… my Thanksgiving wishlist in a nutshell.”
- “The real secret ingredient in Thanksgiving dinner? It’s love… and a lot of butter.”
- “I’m not saying I’m obsessed with Thanksgiving food, but if the stuffing were a person, I’d marry it.”
- “If the turkey can’t handle being stuffed, I’m certainly not going to judge it.”
This Post Is All About 75 Funny Thanksgiving Quotes That Will Have You in Stitches!